Hey, Barbecutie

Posts Tagged ‘cool

Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his 35th year. Over the next decade he and his wife had three children and then they separated. They were never legally divorced.

Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and raised the children and their education was her highest priority. She wrote a book on the subject.

Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementary school, taken most of his meals in his room standing up at his desk with a cup of coffee to save time. In the sixth grade, he went into business breeding Dalmatian mice which he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo. He started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. He negotiated the purchase of his father’s summer house on Eagle’s Island. The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas’ left hand.

Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at age two. Her father had always noted this when introducing her. She was a playwright, and won a Braverman Grant of fifty thousand dollars in the ninth grade. She and her brother Richie ran away from home one winter and camped out in the African wing of the public archives. They shared a sleeping bag and survived on crackers and root beer. Four years later Margot disappeared alone for two weeks and came back with half a finger missing.

Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennis player since the third grade. He turned pro at seventeen and won the U. S. Nationals three years in a row. He kept a studio in the corner of the ballroom but had failed to develop as a painter. On weekends Royal took him on outings around the city. These invitations were never extended to anyone else.

Richie’s best friend, Eli Cash, lived with his aunt in the building across the street. He was a regular fixture at family gatherings, holidays, mornings before school, and most afternoons.

The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot’s first play on the night of her eleventh birthday. They had agreed to invite their father to the party. He had not been invited to any of their parties since. In fact, virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had been erased by two decades of betrayal, failure, and disaster.

I can only aspire to write something as lovely as the opening narration from the Royal Tenenbaums.

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Two bits of excellent news:
Firstly, the wonderful team at Storm In A Teacup have released issue 2 of their titular zine, once again featuring alternative female artists and writers dealing with female-positive topics and creating delightful things. I am extremely pleased to say that I have a story featured amongst the illustrious company, and even moreso that Bex Massey has created an illustration to accompany my piece. One of the most wonderful things is to have done something that inspires another person to make art, so I’m very excited and humbled. The zine also has a cocktail recipe, so you know you want to get some of that. It’s available from all good zine fairs and by e-mailing storminateacupzine@gmail.com. Big thanks to Elizabeth Martin.

Secondly, wordPLAY is making its triumphant return to the Good Ship in Kilburn on 15th March in aid of Cancer Research UK. We have pulled together a splendiferous array of writers and performers to say words at you until your head explodes with joy and also hydrogen. It’s a line-up so deliriously awesometacular that we aren’t even having music this time around. And it’s hosted by me, and you know how you love to hear me say things in that silly accent of mine, as well as the much more capable and coherent Nancy Clarik with moral support and gentle guidence of the beauteous Becca. So do come and support our charity, and you will be rewarded with an evening of unequable literary lyricism from a group of massively talented peoples:

Booker-longlisted, pioneer of the New Puritans, and thoroughly excellent fellow MATT THORNE

Wickedly wonderful poetry from Carol Ohemaa

and our spectactular guest stars
Liz Adams

Sam Buchan-Watts

Sophie Buchan

Jack Kelly

Leslie Tetteh

then don’t forget to poke me in the face and tell me you love me for letting you know all about the art that’s running wild in the world.

My friends Anne and Emily made this preposterously amazing short film (with Billy, Dayo and Tom’s help) and I think you should all go vote for it because it is so fantastic. And if you’ve never quite managed that whole toilet hygiene malarky, you might learn something also (not me, though. I’ve got that shit down):

http://www.virginmediashorts.co.uk/films/entry/332663/a-film-about-poo

And check their other shiz out here. They are well good: http://www.emilyandanne.co.uk/

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tortured poet
(This is not me, but I expect to be pulling similar fists of pure emotion)

This Tuesday (4th May) I will be appearing at wordPLAY, one of London’s finest spoken word evenings, based at The Good Ship in Kilburn. There I shall be reading that modern Fegan classic, “People Are Awful”, a character monologue that explores through the medium of words and sounds and stages and loud noises why, when, where, how, when and why people are, in fact, awful. I will also be hoping that the audience can understand my accent.

Glibness aside, I am really excited about this. It feels like forever since my last public reading, and to get to do it at wordPLAY is amazing as it is an event I have enjoyed on many occasions, and has an inclusive attitude and passion that I admire greatly.

Additionally, my appearance here has bumped my results on Google to 5 pages, only some of which refer to a different girl with an identical name. Take that, younger me with an interest in cross-country running and more of a future ahead of you!

I shall be performing alongside John Osborne, Catherine Martindale, Christopher Horton, Liz Adams, Ray Morgan and Verity Flecknell, and I’m really looking forward to hearing their work. wordPLAY always finds a great variety of writers and they’re uniformly spectacular (hence my shock/delight at my invitation), so it should be an excellent night out!

Support your local literary events, yo!

More information
People Are Awful

Yes, I feel it too.

This is actor and all-round cool guy Warren Oates. Let’s stare at him for a bit.