Archive for December 2010
Cold Comfort
Posted December 18, 2010
on:- In: fact | nonsense
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I’m supposed to be flying home for Christmas tomorrow, but it’s looking about as likely as my being mangled by a hopped-up tapir before night’s end. The snow is, from my vantage point, six stories above North London, astonishingly beautiful. Rooftops whitewashed and unblemished, brick moorings beneath, like Christmas cards sent by your unimaginative relatives. On the ground level, as I ventured out earlier, it’s pretty rank. I live on the mainest of main roads, and the ground is slick with grey-brown mush that filters through your soles and makes your toesies drop off. It’s hard to have one without the other.
So the country in which I lay my wee head to sleep tomorrow is still up for grabs. I mean, it’s either going to be England or Ireland, unless something goes significantly wrong mid-journey. I should really be packing now, but there are things that appeal more, like watching a documentary on folk music on iplayer or pondering over ordering pizza (the latter, probably not, it’s a bit of a kerfuffle, the former, ONGOING).
My Pantoum challenge from the last entry is going surprisingly well, but I want more. Pantoum me up like wow. I’m not a critic, I’m not going to yell at you. Alternatively, give me a story to write, and I’ll do it. I’ll do it good. Write a fine ass story. With quite poor grammar.
Will someone buy me Cold Comfort Farm? I owned it years ago but never got round to reading it. Ahh, go on. I’ll make you food in January in return. You don’t even have to eat it.
I’m cold.*
* Physically and emotionally**.
** No, just kidding, I’m lovely.
I was never good with poetry, because, for all my fine qualities, I lack discipline. I always thought my attempts had their own rag-tag charm, but there’s something about a well-constructed poem that can be dazzling. And I know for a fact that I get five page views a day, so I am setting a challenge to anyone who dares make beautiful words.
A pantoum is a poetic form without set length, subject or rhyme scheme. It is comprised of quatrains. The second and fourth line of each stanza reappear (with some variations) as the first and third line of the next stanza. The first and third lines of the first stanza return as the last and second lines of the final stanza.
For example
Milltown Auspice by Ben Jahn
How to explain his death – with humour
The best jokes start serious:
He fell asleep on the beach with his pockets full of bread
Seagulls carried him away –
The best jokes start serious:
The Governor went north (the mills full of men) God knows
Seagulls carried him away –
It was a thick-fog day, and still
The Governor went north (the mills full of men) God knows
How to explain his death – with humour
It was a thick-fog day, and still
He fell asleep on the beach with his pockets full of bread*
God, it’s dreamy. Send attempts to bronaghfegan[at]hotmail[dot]com and I’ll write you something in return.
*from McSweeney’s 31
EMERGENCY UPDATE
Posted December 3, 2010
on:- In: fact | nonsense
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On the tube this morning a man used my head as a bookrest.
I am not ready for December
Posted December 2, 2010
on:- In: sounds | video
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I don’t know where September went. I’m missing that month entirely. I know things have, if I may get personal here, slightly gone to shit, cookie-wise, and I can only assume that at some point between a trip home at the end of August, and my return to London in so-called, swiftly-passing “September”, something truly awful happened and all the things that once were good are now bad.
And now it’s Christmas! Perfect time for my favourite and unfairly forgotten Christmas song, “Things Fall Apart” by Cristina. It’s called “Things Fall Apart”, for a start, and also contains the line he licked me like a candy cane. It’s just super.
Word of the Day
Posted December 1, 2010
on:Today’s word of the day:
“characterful”
You will note that the word of the day is a stupid word.
Full disclosure: I work in (near) publishing. This is where I encountered this word. I find it unputupable.